I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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