Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
