so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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