I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
