your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
