Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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