I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize