We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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