I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
