My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize