A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
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Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
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I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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