I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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