I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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