I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
