You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
