yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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