even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
