4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Buhtt sex?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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