Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize