At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize