How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
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You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
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I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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