Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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