We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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