Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
