their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
