it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
