This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Someone shattered a urinal.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
