White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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