we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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