Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
