i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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