ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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