Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
