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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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