Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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