i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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