so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
