I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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