blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize