My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
