So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
