I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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