My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he fucked my hip out of place.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
