so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
