She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
