If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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