he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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