he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im holly from the hills drunk
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
