She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
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according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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