So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dignity is for republicans.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
