I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize