Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
