How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
