You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
