you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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