We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
