I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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