Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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