The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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