i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
