So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
