I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
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this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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