Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish there were wingman of the year awards.

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  (405): Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk? (918): You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush. (405): I wish there were wingman of the year awards. http://tfl.nu/wr2g
  Replies (19) Good night (3969) Bad night (1044)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.

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  (207): Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete. http://tfl.nu/jsd4
  Replies (21) Good night (3591) Bad night (557)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed

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  (412): I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed http://tfl.nu/up7a
  Replies (12) Good night (3663) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.

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  (301): you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off. http://tfl.nu/9btz
  Replies (26) Good night (6471) Bad night (2098)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.

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  (516): He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes. http://tfl.nu/agxg
  Replies (14) Good night (1353) Bad night (4572)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon

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  (773): I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon http://tfl.nu/rw5r
  Replies (10) Good night (3146) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

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  (859): I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out http://tfl.nu/qumr
  Replies (16) Good night (5045) Bad night (1372)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?

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  (414): Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table? http://tfl.nu/liu6
  Replies (7) Good night (2470) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  What vodka is american?

  (1-786): View more from Florida

  Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.

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  (786): What vodka is american? (1-786): Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july. http://tfl.nu/p6uy
  Replies (11) Good night (2045) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...

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  (630): I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night... http://tfl.nu/aiyg
  Replies (9) Good night (582) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  "I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.

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  (440): "I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth. http://tfl.nu/p4vu
  Replies (5) Good night (464) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face

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  (248): I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face http://tfl.nu/fni1
  Replies (5) Good night (593) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.

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  (775): Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome. http://tfl.nu/b3ha
  Replies (8) Good night (967) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes

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  (702): I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes http://tfl.nu/0alc
  Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.

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  (281): I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today. http://tfl.nu/dm0h
  Replies (0) Good night (355) Bad night (110)

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