Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

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  (330): Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/vs2k
  Replies (12) Good night (748) Bad night (3093)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.

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  (518): I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese. http://tfl.nu/65in
  Replies (29) Good night (10776) Bad night (776)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.

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  (816): You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses. http://tfl.nu/7wdn
  Replies (50) Good night (1001) Bad night (4352)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows

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  (480): I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows http://tfl.nu/5bqe
  Replies (21) Good night (6073) Bad night (698)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.

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  (816): She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years. http://tfl.nu/8lob
  Replies (19) Good night (1840) Bad night (5511)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.

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  (702): Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom. http://tfl.nu/iz3f
  Replies (23) Good night (1000) Bad night (4675)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure

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  (267): dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure http://tfl.nu/1m9t
  Replies (23) Good night (3720) Bad night (682)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?

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  (989): Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ? http://tfl.nu/oaz9
  Replies (5) Good night (1233) Bad night (733)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.

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  (813): I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry. http://tfl.nu/1un5
  Replies (7) Good night (428) Bad night (1107)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys

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  (516): Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys http://tfl.nu/syhe
  Replies (5) Good night (1173) Bad night (423)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are

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  (775): Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are http://tfl.nu/iecj
  Replies (11) Good night (441) Bad night (1220)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.

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  (574): It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers. http://tfl.nu/dqn1
  Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (421)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.

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  (434): My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics. http://tfl.nu/jrhb
  Replies (8) Good night (1209) Bad night (372)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.

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  (732): Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit. http://tfl.nu/pssm
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (343)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?

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  (509): You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you? http://tfl.nu/3xdc
  Replies (8) Good night (381) Bad night (1158)

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