hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
