I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye