Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..

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(918): i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning.. http://tfl.nu/cvhe

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session

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(401): So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session http://tfl.nu/9nzb

Replies (111) Good night (1152) Bad night (6690)
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(845): View more from New York

just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism

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(845): just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism http://tfl.nu/ktmw

Replies (15) Good night (5090) Bad night (580)
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(561): View more from Florida

george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.

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(561): george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it. http://tfl.nu/x2j0

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.

(1-606): View more from Kentucky

Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.

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(606): I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me. (1-606): Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons. http://tfl.nu/drp9

Replies (4) Good night (4083) Bad night (1145)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.

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(717): Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home. http://tfl.nu/i7zp

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(512): View more from Texas

Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus

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(512): Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus http://tfl.nu/cvrn

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(757): View more from Virginia

i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...

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(757): i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ... http://tfl.nu/nc8q

Replies (19) Good night (2001) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.

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(715): Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure. http://tfl.nu/2y1s

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(479): View more from Arkansas

As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.

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(479): As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man. http://tfl.nu/2x85

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(951): View more from California

Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?

(951): View more from California

...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...

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(951): Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch? (951): ...and then running into your dad at said grocery store... http://tfl.nu/jg4u

Replies (10) Good night (1357) Bad night (458)
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(516): View more from New York

Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.

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(516): Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy. http://tfl.nu/8uc8

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(416): View more from Toronto

I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.

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(416): I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined. http://tfl.nu/slim

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(951): View more from California

He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".

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(951): He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later". http://tfl.nu/gid9

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(514): View more from Quebec

AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing

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(514): AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing http://tfl.nu/uira

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