Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
