did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.