I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
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So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.