I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
