i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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