You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
