You're so nebulous sometimes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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