It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
