After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
