Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
