if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
